The Endless Call
by Firesword
Summary: Slash. Oneshot. OOC. What will Sanzo answer when Goku asks about what he really thinks of his three other companions?


**Fandom: **Saiyuki (funnily enough)

**Fic Title: **The Endless Call

**Author: **Firesword

**Disclaimer: **I certainly don't own them lovely characters - Kazuya Minekura is the rightful owner. I just own the fluffy muse.

**Summary: **Slash. One-shot. OOC. What will Sanzo answer when Goku asks about what he really thinks of his three other companions?

**Rating: **Red Flame or M (mature)

**Warnings: **As I've mentioned, it's Slash. This is my first time - ever - writing fanfiction based on anime. Characters are a bit OOC.

**Notes: **The muse had been always there, but I didn't really have the time to focus solely on it -since I was overwhelmed by HP bunnies. Only after I'd finish watching Saiyuki Reload Gunlock on 7 April did I sit down and started writing on paper. Its timeline - well, it begins after the last episode of Saiyuki Reload Gunlock. I'd thought that I'd be able to post this before I had to go and teach my evening class, but time wasn't on my side.

**THE ENDLESS CALL**

**by Firesword**

"Goku." Hakkai's voice penetrated through the small opening of the door and the doorframe for the sixth time. "Goku, Sanzo won't be waking up anytime soon so ... please come down and eat."

Pure golden eyes closed briefly. "It's just..."

The truth was he had been terrified to know that Sanzo was heavily injured, but the monk had managed to hide it so well that even the meticulous, observant and considerate Hakkai had forgotten that Sanzo had been shot several times. Fortunately, Sanzo had not taken any injuries to his vital organs, but still...

Goku clenched his teeth unconsciously, suddenly infuriated. His heart palpitated as he recalled the scene three nights ago.

They had reached another village the same evening after Gato and Heinz had been laid to rest. Goku had felt so hungry that the cuts, grazes and bruises all over his body were quite insignificant, and as usual - and quite selfishly - he had begged Hakkai to get some food immediately. Then, while they were getting off Hakuryu, Goku had felt a familiar sensation. It was as though Sanzo was about to hit him with the fan, and he had quickly turned and ducked.

He did not feel the fingers grasping the collar of his shirt. He could only see the pair of violet eyes, and they were blazing with fierce intensity.

"Baka..." Goku said softly, as he watched the peaceful face of the sleeping man. "So bloody proud," he muttered.

Behind the door, Hakkai chuckled softly. "That's just the way he is. Don't be too worried about him, all right, Goku?"

"Kyuuuu!" The small white dragon perched on the man's shoulder squealed in agreement.

"Aaaah!" Goku suddenly let out an exasperated shout and then he glared at Sanzo. For some reason, he felt angry with the proud monk. "As if it would kill him to ask for help!"

"I think you need to do something constructive, Goku," Hakkai sighed.

"I'm not really hungry, Hakkai. Besides, I don't think it'll be a good idea to leave Sanzo alone." He stood up and walked over to the window. He stared at the lively street below with a contemplative expression. "Getting attacked by demons have become more and more frequent lately, and it is usually when we're resting."

"Goku..." Hakkai sounded very surprised.

The young immortal broke into an indolent grin.

"Well, I cannot argue with you about that," Hakkai said in resignation. "However, since you are determined... I will bring some food up, just in case you _do_ feel hungry."

"Okay." Goku nodded. "Wait! Hakkai!"

"Hmmmm? What is it?"

"If there's any ... can you get me some peaches?" he asked, and tried not to sound too hopeful about it. He had been craving for it for some time now.

"Peaches?" Hakkai gave him a piqued look. "I'll try."

"Thank you!"

It was quiet once again after Hakkai had closed the door. Goku let out another sigh and went back to his previous position. He clasped his arms on the edge of the bed and stared at Sanzo again. "Hey, Sanzo," he whispered. His words were slightly muffled by the arm on his lips. "When are you going to wake up?"

There was no response. He felt his spirits sinking and he started to worry again.

"Tch." His bright, golden eyes darkened slightly in sorrow. "Not only are you annoying, you have to be so troublesome." _If it's not making me angry, you'll make me feel worried half to death..._

However, if he had not met Sanzo, if he had not been freed of the mountain, he would have never experienced emotions. _And I would have never met Hakkai and that over-confident, sex god kappa. _He snorted derisively and shook his head. Although having emotions were somewhat troubling, because he just could not understand them sometimes, he did not regret having them.

_Feelings..._

It was only after Sanzo had come for him did he finally realize how lonely he had been. It was only after that, that he had known what hunger had felt like, what happiness was, what sorrow was, and how it would feel to be worried for someone.

Suddenly, he felt his cheeks turning red. "What the hell...?" He straightened and slapped himself lightly. However, the strange feeling persisted. Goku knew that deep down, it revolved around _his_ sun but he quickly shove the thought away. He used his irritation for Sanzo to get rid of the alien feeling.

It worked somewhat.

"Seriously ... do you not care about us at all?" he murmured. "You go on and on about how you don't need us, that we're just slowing you down. Don't we mean anything to you?" He sighed helplessly. "Aargh! It's useless talking to you!"

_"Of course, it's useless. He's asleep!" _his inner voice chided.

He sighed and cloaked himself with grouchy silence. Several minutes later, someone knocked on the door and it opened.

"Has that annoying, self-important monk gained consciousness?" Gojyo's cheerful, yet sarcastic voice met his ears.

"I don't smell any cigarette smoke, so I suppose he is still asleep," Hakkai interjected cleverly.

"Huh." Gojyo gave Hakkai a sour look, while the emerald-eyed man smiled faintly.

As Goku got up to look at what his friends had brought up, soft blonde eyelashes fluttered. Since he had already turned, he had missed the slight movement.

"I managed to get some, Goku," Hakkai said with a cheerful smile, "as well as some apples and oranges."

"And here are some meat buns, spring rolls, take-away fried noodles..." Gojyo went on and on, as he handed Goku a huge brown bag.

"Thank you," he mumbled, distracted by the pleasant aroma of the meat buns. "Are they all for me?"

"You're not so lucky, you baka-saru!" Gojyo tugged sharply on his bang. "They're for Sanzo too, in case that corrupted monk wakes up," he said the last in an undertone. "Now, saru, Hakkai and I are going for some drinks. So, keep an eye on Sanzo."

"Uhmmm." He nodded.

"Ja..." Gojyo waved at him lazily.

"We'll check up on you later. And don't worry about Hakuryu. He's already sleeping."

"Hak-kai..." Gojyo's voice echoed throughout the corridor.

"Coming!" Hakkai shook his head and chuckled. "Take care of Sanzo, Goku, and enjoy your meal."

Two hours passed and the night deepened. The street below was already much quieter but Goku's two other companions were not back from their drinking session.

_Well, as long as they aren't stuck in some sort of trouble, it's fine._ He gathered the empty packet of fried noodles, meat bun wrappers, and empty bottles of apple juice, and threw them into a large, garbage bag. He made a quick trip to the washroom and heaved a sigh of relief to find nothing out of place when he returned to their room. Sanzo was still sleeping.

It seemed very much like routine. He would sit beside the bed and contemplate the monk's expression.

"Sanzo, what do you really think of us?" he whispered morosely. He fell deeply into his thoughts and as he felt worried all over again, he muttered, "Stupid monk. Get up already."

"Oi, saru," a voice grated.

Goku could not breathe. The voice indicated that the speaker had been awake for some time. Sanzo's eyes had opened suddenly and they were not showing any signs of weakness or exhaustion.

"Don't look down on me." Intense, bluish-purple eyes narrowed slightly.

"Don't look..." Goku stared blankly at Sanzo. His expression turned into disbelief and then into one of fury. He rose to his feet, his fingers clenched tightly into fists at his sides, and he gazed down at Sanzo exasperatingly. "You idiotic monk!"

"How dare-!"

"I wasn't pitying you! I was worrying about you, damn it!"

"I don't remember asking you to be worried about me!" Sanzo growled, and he slowly got up to a sitting position.

"But that's just it, isn't it?" Goku hissed. "Because it's _my _own damned business to be worried about you!"

There was a small, practical part of him whispering in his mind, telling him of the troubles that he was creating for himself. _"You'll be very sorry in a minute,_" his inner voice murmured. The voice was probably right. He was going to say things he would regret later, but he could not reign in his temper.

"You keep pushing everyone away. You keep pushing _us_ away." He felt so frustrated that he could not look into those violet eyes any longer. He glared down at his bare feet instead. "But even if you convince yourself that you don't need anyone, it's not going to stop us from being with you. Because ... because it's our own choice that we do so."

He looked up at a soft rustle and saw Sanzo grabbing his cigarette pack. "Do whatever you want," the blonde-haired monk drawled with a superior smirk in place.

_That... _Goku's temple pounded. "You can keep pushing them away, telling them that they're useless and insignificant. But it won't stop those people from _hating_ you, or _caring_ for you," he said, and calmly watched Sanzo's lips curl into a snarl when he found that the pack was empty.

He managed to remain still even as the rumpled pack flew past his shoulder.

Minutes passed and he tried to remain impassive as Sanzo's eyes bored into his. The silence stretched. After a while, his shoulders slumped down in defeat. He knew it was pointless to be putting up a cold front in the first place, since he could never hold his act for more than a few minutes. Head hanging down in shame, he mumbled an apology. "Gomen."

"Tch."

"Where are you going?" he asked worriedly as Sanzo swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "Sanzo?"

"It's not your damned business."

"Although I can't tolerate it when you're seriously angry, Hakkai seriously angry is even harder to bear. I'm not that crazy to get him mad," Goku said with a slight glower. He moved closer to Sanzo but did not offer any assistance as the monk got to his feet rather unsteadily.

"I don't need a nursemaid!" Sanzo spat.

"Too bad it's not for you to decide," Goku said, his expression stubborn as Sanzo grabbed his gun and the man walked toward the door. Goku followed him out of the room.

"Do you really want me to kill you?" the monk mumbled in the corridor.

The other patrons who were out prowling in the narrow corridor had gasped and they had quickly disappeared after catching sight of the murderous-looking man.

"Only if I go berserk," Goku answered placidly.

Sanzo uttered a string of curses before slamming the bathroom at his face.

"Really." Goku sighed and moved away from the bathroom to wait for Sanzo. "He sure better not have gotten his stitches open by accident or Hakkai will kill me..."

The door opened with a loud bang and Sanzo appeared. He looked alert after having washed his face. Wordlessly, Goku fell into step behind him.

"You are getting on my nerves..."

"Nobody asked you to be edgy," he mumbled his reply and yelped in pain when Sanzo brought his infamous fan down on his head. "Damn you! That hurt!"

"Shut the hell up!" Sanzo smacked him again.

"How in the hell did you get your bloody fan? Damn ... can you conjure it?" He wailed and rubbed at the smarting spot. "Man ... you're really abusive."

"Hmphf!" Sanzo turned on his heels and quickly stormed away.

Goku straightened and smiled faintly. Since Sanzo managed to be _this_ lively, he knew that the man would heal up quickly.

A chorus of giggles made him turn and he caught sight of two young women. They were twins.

"Kawaii!" one of them remarked before dashing downstairs.

Scratching his head, Goku wondered what was cute. He shrugged slightly to himself and jumped at the loud slam. He panicked. "Sanzo! Don't lock the door! Where am I going to sleep?" Quickly, he ran up to Sanzo's room.

**-oOoOOoOo-**

"Where are Hakkai and Gojyo?" Sanzo asked grumpily as Goku cleared away the rubbish.

"They went out for drinks," he answered.

"Damn those two ... they knew I was out of cigarettes. And giving me this to drink..." Sanzo stared at the bottles of apple juice somewhat indignantly.

"Hehehe..." Goku chuckled at the monk's expression.

"You..." Sanzo's left eye twitched in anger and Goku laughed harder.

When he went back to sit beside the bed to keep an eye on the recuperating man, Sanzo's eyes widened.

"Go back to your room!"

"This is my room too, Sanzo," he said cheerfully. "Didn't I tell you that earlier? Hakkai and Gojyo had to put up with another couple."

Sanzo glared at him.

"Tch. Ungrateful. At least I was good enough to give up the bed."

Sanzo turned away.

"Hey, Sanzo..."

"Be quiet."

"Sanzo-"

"I told you to be quiet!"

"-what do you think of us?"

In a flash, Sanzo's hand grasped his upper arm and with amazing strength, he hauled Goku up.

"Sanzo! What are you doing?" Goku shouted. He was more worried about Sanzo's healing wounds rather than what was going to happen to him.

The violet-eyed man ignored his shout and with a slight twist, he rolled them over. With his lean frame, Goku had not expected Sanzo to be this heavy. The pressure of hands against his shoulders made it hard for him to breathe and his throat went dry at the indecipherable look Sanzo gave him.

"Sanzo..." He swallowed nervously.

"What do I think of you?" Sanzo murmured in a low and dangerous voice. "Other than you being a monkey with a bottomless stomach, Gojyo being a conceited, unappetizing kappa, and Hakkai being a bloody annoying housekeeper?"

His face loomed closer and their proximity threatened Goku's eyes to cross. With great difficulty, he focused on Sanzo's face.

"How should I know?" Sanzo muttered and he sounded aggravated. "How can I think of anything else when that voice keeps calling out to me?"

"Voice?" Goku stared up at Sanzo in confusion.

"_You_ keep calling me," Sanzo said quietly.

"I keep..." Goku started to shiver, though not out of fear. "I..."

"Why do you need me?" Sanzo tilted his head slightly to one side and stared down at him thoughtfully.

Goku blushed and looked away from the penetrating eyes. He was about to say that he did not need him at all, but that would be a lie. "Because you are my sun," he answered simply and wished he did not sound so stupid.

"Your sun?" Sanzo raised an eyebrow.

He hated the way Sanzo had sounded so skeptical as though the matter was trivial. He started to babble, and tried as best as he could to explain what it really meant. Sanzo continued to look as though he had not understood Goku in the slightest.

"Shut up," the blonde man muttered.

"But you didn't understand what I've told you!" Goku protested. He was about to launch into a disorganized explanation when Sanzo used his left hand to cup one side of his face.

"Shut up."

The lips pressing against his own silenced him quite effectively. The kiss had totally surprised him that he did not even close his eyes and he did not know what to think either. Then Sanzo pulled away. His eyes were totally unreadable. Goku did not know what to say, or if he should say anything at all.

_He'll probably ask me to shut up even if I did, _he thought to himself. He could not just keep quiet, however.

"Sanzo." Licking his lips, he stared into the pair of strange, amethyst-colored eyes. The emotion he had tried to ignore so much had resurfaced. It was overwhelming and he could not breathe. Soon, he was lost in the pools of violet.

Apple juice and peach. Those flavors were on Sanzo's tongue, as well as the mild taste of peppermint from the toothpaste. Goku sighed into the man's mouth as they shifted the angles of their heads yet again. Fingers delved into his hair even as his own hands wrapped around the slender waist gently. He groaned, as their kiss became more passionate. Goku had never felt arousal before, and he was somewhat frightened by it.

Finally, Sanzo broke their kiss and assuaged his unspoken fear by brushing his lips gently on his forehead, and after that, his cheek. Sanzo's eyes looked peculiarly gentle when Goku opened his to see.

"Sanzo..." He still felt breathless. His heart was pounding so hard in his chest.

"Will you ever grow tired of calling me?"

The sudden question prompted Goku to smile. "You're my sun, Sanzo. I'll never grow tired of it."

"Hmmmm..." Sanzo extracted himself from Goku's embrace but then, he pulled the younger individual into his arms as he lay back on the mattress.

"Sanzo."

"Stop talking and go to sleep." Although he had said that in a brusque manner, he was stroking Goku's brown hair with uncharacteristic tenderness.

"Uhmmm ... okay." Goku nodded. He smiled as he closed his eyes, and tentatively draped his hand over Sanzo's waist. "Oyasumi."

**-oOoOOoOo-**

"Eh? Hakkai! Where are you going?" He grumbled after the man walking away from him.

"Gojyo, I haven't forgotten my promise to massage your back," Hakkai sighed. "I just want to check on Sanzo and Goku."

"Come on - they can take care of themselves," Gojyo muttered, and then he sighed at the piercing look Hakkai gave him. "All right, all right. Let's go check on the saru and his master."

Hakkai chuckled, probably pleased at his quick surrender. They walked quietly to Sanzo's door. Gojyo left it to the good-natured Hakkai to knock on the door to announce their presence.

"Maybe the monkey had fallen asleep on duty," he said with a smirk.

"Oh." Hakkai breathed in sharply as he peeked into the room.

"Oh? What do you mean by 'oh'?" Gojyo frowned and peered over Hakkai's shoulder. His eyes flared in surprise and horror. "You-!" The rest of his exclamation was muffled by his companion's palm.

_Hakkai! What are you doing, you bastard? _Gojyo looked wildly into Hakkai's smiling eyes. _Take Goku away from that perverted, corrupted monk right now! _He screamed silently. His eyes darted back to the figures on the bed.

Sanzo was holding Goku close while they slept. The moonlight reflecting from their faces and bodies made them appear more lover-like.

Hakkai closed the door without another word and pulled him away with great determination.

"Oi, Hakkai! We can't leave them like that!" he protested loudly as Hakkai dragged him toward their own room.

"Gojyo," Hakkai began in a very patient tone, "our Goku is growing up."

"What was that?" Gojyo's voice raised dangerously. "Are you blind?" He swore. "Of course, he is growing! His clothes are getting smaller on him, he is eating more than usual - except if he's worried about Sanzo - and he is getting to that age where hormones will do a lot of thinking for him. That's not good!"

He grew more agitated when Hakkai started to chortle in his usual gentle fashion. Crimson eyes narrowed down in annoyance.

"It is not funny, Hakkai," Gojyo growled. "Fine. If his _mother_ isn't going to do anything..." He wrenched himself from Hakkai's grip, but hands grabbed at his elbows. "Hakkai! I'm not going to-"

"Gojyo, you knew it was going to happen some day."

"I know it will, but I was hoping that it will happen when Goku doesn't look so much like a boy," he said with great frustration. He leaned against the wall tiredly and absently fished out a cigarette, which Hakkai calmly plucked out from his fingers. _And stop smiling!_

"But what if this is what is needed for Goku to reach the desired state of growth?" Hakkai asked in a reasonable manner.

He opened his mouth but closed it again when he realized that there was not much he could say to that. _If that's the case ... I'll feel so much better. I just hope that the way he thinks will not be so boyish._

"But you can't help but wonder ... If Goku is done growing, he will not be eating so much anymore," Hakkai said slowly. "It'll be more economical that way, of course, but someone may find it too quiet when we're on the road."

_You little... _Gojyo moved quickly and pinned Hakkai to the wall. "And who is this 'someone' you're speaking of, hmmmm?" he asked archly.

"Gojyo! Not right here!" Hakkai gasped as he leaned forward.

"Oh no, Hakkai. It'll be right here, and I'll give you that kiss you'd requested earlier," he murmured, his breath tickling the other man's neck.

"I was j-just joking! Gojyo!"

"Joking or not ... I'm still..." It was silent for several seconds. And then...

"That feels too restricted..."

"Bed," Gojyo panted and hungrily licked down Hakkai's neck.

"I agree," Hakkai whispered. "Please take me there."

_Oh, I will. And I'll take you to an even better place. _He smiled wickedly. _Well, here's to hoping that the other two sharing the room with us will be too busy to notice what I'm about to do to this gorgeous, lithe, and sexy man. Oh, you make me feel so hot, Hakkai._

**-oOoOOoOo-**

He opened his eyes and looked briefly at the window. It was still dark. After having slept continuously for days, he felt that he did not need any more.

"Sanzo..." a deep, husky voice murmured.

_"Sanzo."_

The conscious man smiled down at his sleeping partner. Goku's voice had changed slightly, and so had his facial features. Even as the heretic in his arms began to transform, Sanzo remained calm throughout. Minutes trickled by slowly and Sanzo witnessed Goku's change. The arm draped over his waist and back had grown heavier, and when he touched it lightly, muscles contracted briefly under his fingertips.

"Uhnnn..." The young man in his arms stirred a little and then he burrowed his face into Sanzo's bandaged chest. "Sanzo..." His breathing steadied again.

Right before his eyes, Goku had finally grown into the body of a young adult.

"But what of your mind?" he whispered as he gently stroked Goku's hair.

"Hmmmm?" Goku raised his head and opened his eyes sleepily. "What's wrong?"

Sanzo watched as realization flickered on Goku's face, that his voice had changed. He touched his throat in astonishment.

"My voice ... what happened?" He gasped when the last word was spoken in his old voice. "What happened to my voice, Sanzo?" All of that came out in his new, deep tone.

"Your voice has broken," Sanzo answered calmly.

"Oh." Goku looked thoughtful.

His reaction was something that Sanzo had not expected. He began to feel slightly suspicious.

"Hakkai had told me of these things." Goku lowered his eyes in embarrassment.

"I see that he has educated you on certain things." He felt secretly relieved that Hakkai had taken on the responsibility. Then Goku started to wriggle and he looked like he was uncomfortable with something. "What's the matter?" he asked and Goku blushed immediately.

"My clothes ... they're smothering me," Goku mumbled.

Sanzo blinked. "Then get rid of them," he said in a calm voice.

"But Sanzo!" Goku's eyes went impossibly wide.

"But what?" he countered. "I won't be offended, and I won't take advantage of you."

"Are you sure it's okay?" Goku was still hesitant.

"Just take them off and get back here," he said with exasperation.

Goku slipped out of bed to remove his clothes, but before he returned to Sanzo's side, he wrapped a towel around himself.

_"Sanzo."_ Peculiarly, the voice that would always echo in his mind sounded mortified and nervous.

"Looks like you have grown taller," he observed.

"Really? I have?" Goku's face brightened. "Have I finally grown taller than that red-haired kappa?"

Sanzo snorted. "I can't tell for certain. Now, come here." He wrapped his arms around Goku once more and absently kissed his forehead. "Sleep."

"You should rest too."

"Hmmmm," he answered in a non-committal way.

"Sanzo?"

"What?" He felt irrationally annoyed at Goku for speaking. Wasn't it wonderful enough to be in this position?

"May I ... kiss you?"

_Hmmmm ... I don't mind._ He smiled crookedly and waited. Then he closed his eyes in bliss as soft, nervous lips pressed gently against his own.

"I love you, Sanzo," Goku murmured against his lips, and then kissed him softly again.

"I do love you too, Goku," he said quietly into the expectant silence. Goku gasped softly at his response and he smiled at the golden-eyed man. "I don't want those two to lecture me into being honest with you - they'll end up irritating me." His fingers brushed lovingly along Goku's cheekbone. "Daybreak, I'll get Hakkai to find some temporary clothes. It will be better if you can go along with him to get new ones."

"Sanzo..." Goku's eyes were filled with happiness. "Thank you."

"Get some sleep, saru," he said with a fond smile. He squeezed his arms around Goku's frame lightly and let himself be lulled back into sleep.

Even the sound of the voice in his mind had changed, but it was still Goku's voice.

_"Sanzo."_

_Shut up, saru and go to sleep._

In his sleep, Sanzo's lips curled slightly into a gentle smile.

**-oOoOOoOo-**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**-oOoOOoOo-**

_My first Saiyuki fanfic! There's always a first for everything! Lol. I hope it wasn't dreadful._


End file.
